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Category Archives: funny

Minute to Win It.

What do you do when you’ve got two kids who are:  (1) extremely bored, (2) hyped up on Christmas cookies and (3) waiting not-so-patiently for the first wave of grandparents to arrive bearing gifts?  Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I did the only thing I could think of.  I re-created their favorite game show and made them the contestants.  It was Minute to Win It, Thomas Style.  Torin went first.  She had a Kleenex box filled with about 15 marbles strapped to her bottom, and her mission was to empty the box in 60 seconds or less, without using her hands. 

When you don’t have much junk in your trunk, it takes an awful lot of wiggling, shaking, and jumping to complete the task, but she did it with about 10 seconds to spare.

Parker did a great job, too.  When he finished, he wanted to know if he had banked $75,000.  I told him that unless he saw Guy Fieri walk through our front door, the answer was no.  It was certainly an entertaining way to kill some time, though!

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I’ve got mail. Lots of it.

I may live to regret this, but I set Torin up with her own email account this weekend.  She is only allowed to email Dave and me at this point, and she is not allowed to open any messages unless it’s from one of us.  I thought it would be good practice for her to write messages.  I had no idea that she would constantly be sending me mail, however.  The first thing she did when she got up was check her email.  The first thing she did when she got home from church was check her email.  (I suppose this proves that children learn by example.)   I also discovered yesterday that email is also a good medium for tattle-taling.  (I got several messages that said Parker was throwing Legos.)

Some of the emails are pretty funny.  These are the three that I got this morning (before noon):

—–Original Message—–
From: torin
Sent: Sunday, July 26, 2009 6:34 AM
To: Mama
Subject: hello

 Good moning mama I hope you hade a good sleep waute did drem  abawt. torin

 

—–Original Message—–
From: torin
Sent: Sunday, July 26, 2009 11:05 AM
To: Mama
Subject: hello

 Mama wute are you fixing fore lunch    TORIN

 

—–Original Message—–
From: torin
Sent: Sunday, July 26, 2009 11:26 AM
To: Mama
Subject: HELLO

I LIKE TO SEND MESHUGIG   AND I  LIKE WINE YOU GIVE  ME  MESHUGIG I GOT   ONE PROBLUM  MY  WORS  ARE   BIG  AND  CAN  YOU TALL   DADDY TO  HELP  ME  FIX  MY  COMPUTER     TORIN

 

[I'll translate that last one.  It says "I like to send messages and I like when you give me messages[.]  I got one problem my words are big and can you tell Daddy to help me fix my computer.”  Apparently she is stuck on all caps and can’t figure out how to turn it off.]

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I’d like to phone a friend.

Over the past couple of nights, while I have been making supper, Torin has been sitting down at the kitchen table writing me notes.  When she’s finished writing her note, I’m expected to read it.  Out loud.  In front of her.  I’m sure she thinks I’m an idiot, because I have had to ask for help the last two nights.  Tonight’s note was particularly perplexing, so when she asked me to read the words, I really wanted to say “Torin, I’d like to use one of my lifelines.”  (And yes, that’s a reference to the hilarious SNL skit from Saturday night.)  Anyway, I had NO CLUE what this note said and I finally had to ask her to translate it for me.  Here’s what it looks like – I have deciphered it for you on the right side:

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Funny.

Torin goes to the worship service now instead of staying in the preschool department, and she does a fantastic job of sitting still and being quiet in big church.  Today during the sermon, Pastor Mike was talking about waiting on the Lord and how difficult it is sometimes, especially because we don’t always know what we’re waiting for.  As soon as he said that, Torin tapped my elbow and whispered, “I know what we’re waiting for… we’re waiting for this to be over!”

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